"...For the Lord searches every heart and understands the intention of every thought. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever."
1 Chronicles 28:9
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't even attempt to play a game of Tri-Dimensional Chess against Mr. Spock. What do you think the odds are that Dr. McCoy will beat him in a match? My guess: about zero! He will be sweating out each move, while Spock's emotionless logic will allow him to concentrate on multiple levels. As for me, I'm more of a one-dimensional, flat-on-the-table checkers player.
Now, imagine you're playing the same game—not with Spock, but with God. And the game isn't just tri-dimensional; it has infinite levels. It's not even a contest. What if the game wasn't chess but was really your own life? It would be like you're playing checkers, and God is playing infinite chess. He knows you below the surface; He searches your very heart and even knows the intentions of every thought. He can move you around the board, position the other pieces just right, and ensure you're exactly where He wants you. That's what God did with me after I graduated from high school.
When I graduated on May 26, 1979, I was living in Lincoln, New Hampshire. Two weeks later, on June 10th, I had my nineteenth birthday. While I was another year older, it was still the beginning of the rest of my life. My new, soon-to-be-independent life came with a whole lot of questions that needed answers. What should I do with my life? Where would I live? Where would I work? Would I ever go to college? Would I ever get married? That last question led to an even more important question: If I did get married, where and when would I meet my wife?
At the time, I had no idea that my future wife, Sharon, lived 1,469 miles away, was still a ten-year-old little girl, and I'd have to wait another twelve and a half years before we'd finally meet. For a nineteen-year-old, that was almost a lifetime away. For God, it was just a moment in time. Here is part of the story of how He had it all planned out from the beginning, brought all the pieces together, and made sure I'd eventually move to Tallahassee, Florida, where we were destined to meet.
Four months after my graduation, Season 6 of Little House on the Prairie had a two-part episode where Laura Ingalls meets her future husband. She instantly has a crush on him and carves their initials on a tree. She reflects, "If I had a remembrance book, I'd mark down this day as very special. Though I didn't know it at the time, I'd just met the man I would someday marry: Almanzo Wilder."
For five seasons, since I was fourteen, I faithfully watched Little House. Unlike having a celebrity crush on the actress Melissa Gilbert, I fell in love with the character she portrayed on screen—Laura Ingalls. She was the kind of girl I hoped to marry someday. God, in His infinite wisdom, knew my plans, dreams, wishes, and desires. He not only orchestrated matters of my heart but also moved me across life's chessboard. If this were a card game, He'd be the King of Hearts.
Laura Ingalls, at fifteen, found herself falling for a man in his early twenties. Meanwhile, I was nineteen. The actor Dean Butler, who portrayed Almanzo, and Melissa Gilbert, who played Laura, shared an eight-year age difference—just like my wife and me. It's also the same age difference between another little girl I met the summer after my graduation. If it wasn't for her being a part of my life and playing a big role in God's plan, I never would have met my wife. This certainly wasn't a scripted movie or television show; it was real-life. She wasn't an actress, yet her role in my life eventually led me to my wife and to a miracle.
In September, I moved to St. Augustine, Florida. During my journey south, I stopped in Atlanta to visit relatives. Among them was my eleven-year-old fourth cousin, Mary, who had entered my life earlier that summer during another cousin's wedding in Mississippi. We had a great time together and spent a fun day exploring Stone Mountain. I only stayed a couple of days before continuing my trip. From what happens next, it's interesting to note that she and my future wife, Sharon, are exactly twenty-one days apart in age. Coincidence? Not at all.
A month or two after visiting Mary, I received a letter from her. Part of it was written in code, and I had to match letters to numbers in order to decipher it. It was a cute letter from an eleven-year-old, and it said, "I love you." In the back of my mind and in my heart, I was thinking, what if she's my Laura Ingalls? Her letter arrived after the two-part Little House on the Prairie - "Back to School" episodes that aired on September 17th and September 24, 1979. This is where Laura develops a crush on Almanzo and carves their initials on a tree.
It would only be six months later, on February 25, 1980, that the "Sweet Sixteen" episode aired. This is my favorite episode. It's when Laura finally realizes Almanzo has feelings for her. Then, on May 5th and May 12, 1980, the two-part "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" episodes air. This is when Almanzo asks Charles Ingalls for Laura's hand in marriage, but Almanzo doesn't want to wait until she turns eighteen.
Now look at the timing, the circumstances, and predicament I was in. Little House on the Prairie was my all-time favorite television series and still is. I had fallen in love with the character of Laura Ingalls and wanted to someday marry a girl just like her. The actors playing Almanzo and Laura were eight years apart in age, as were Mary and I. What was I to think? I'd just received a secret coded letter that said, "I love you." It sounded more like a mission impossible story. But what if she were my future wife? I couldn't ignore the possibility. After all, it had worked out for Laura and Almanzo. What if God was writing the script to make this a real-life story? In a way, He was—but with a twist of fate. Remember, my future wife is the same age, and their birthdays are only 21 days apart. She could have been my wife.
Here's what I did next: I figured I'd let time unfold and see what the future held when Mary would finally turn eighteen. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be. Over the following years, I'd stop by Atlanta for visits as I traveled either north or south. I even spent a delightful Christmas with her family and once drove Mary and her mom to Mississippi and back to visit relatives. I loved her mom, dad, and Mary—after all, they were family. I'm just grateful that Mary was a fourth cousin; otherwise, this would have been a much shorter story.
Meanwhile, while living in St. Augustine, I volunteered and eventually secured a full-time job at the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind, working as a dormitory teacher in the blind department. As I mentioned in my last post, my path there was directly influenced by watching Little House. Remember Laura's sister Mary, who lost her sight and later married Adam, also blind? Together, they ran a blind school for children. So here I was, working at a blind school. When I told you that I loved Little House on the Prairie, I not only meant it but lived it. My life was imitating art. The fictional story line from a television show became a real life and very rewarding part of my own life.
When I first volunteered at the school, I met a student intern who played a pivotal role in my eventual move to Tallahassee. We went out to dinner, and during the conversation, she mentioned she was from "Tallahassee." At that moment, I experienced a peculiar and powerful déjà vu. Tallahassee sounded very, very familiar, though I had no idea why. That strong sense of familiarity would eventually become a homing beacon. It was where I'd eventually live and was destined to meet my wife. This was God making a preliminary strategic move, influencing a later decision I'd have to make.
In the winter of 1983, I moved back north to Blue Hill, ME, where my retired parents lived. I had felt quite lonely living by myself in St. Augustine, surrounded by people much older than I was. So, I made the decision to move back home, attend college, and immerse myself in the company of people my own age. I enrolled at Husson College in Bangor, ME, and started school in September. To fully embrace the college experience, I opted to live in the dorm with a roommate throughout my freshman year. Soon after classes began, I started dating a senior named Donna. Due to my four-year gap between high school and college, I was actually two years older than she was. Donna and I became best friends, and our relationship reached the point where we met each other's parents.
Logically, I couldn't think of any reason why I shouldn't marry her. I'd never been closer to anyone else in my entire life. Like I said, she was my best friend. I could have lived my life with her and been very happy. Donna's parents were divorced, so when I met them, I spent the weekend at her mother's house in the guest room. I was very close to deciding about our future. Should I ask her to marry me, or not? If not, why not? There was nothing stopping me but a decision. She was a wonderful girl. I was moving toward a "yes" on marriage when a very strange event interrupted everything.
I had just woken up when Donna knocked on my bedroom door. When I opened it, I noticed her wet hair from the shower. Standing in the doorway, I looked directly at her face, when suddenly, I had a vision of another face—an older, middle-aged woman. I only glimpsed her for a brief moment and didn't recognize her. Yet, in that fleeting instant, I experienced a love for her that defied words. It was as if my heart knew her deeply. When the vision ended, I found myself looking at Donna again. It all happened so fast that she hadn't noticed a thing.
After what had just occurred, I realized I couldn't marry Donna. What God had done was both bold and unmistakable. Message received! My moving north had knocked me way off course. I was a long way from Tallahassee, and God knew I was destined to meet Sharon there. He had to move me back south. But the time I'd spent with Donna hadn't been wasted. I'd needed it because I had seven more years—years of not dating—until Sharon and I would finally meet. Having had Donna in my life had given me hope that finding love was possible. I hoped that she'd find it too.
For my sophomore year, I attended Memphis State University. My Uncle Bob had recommended it for its business school, and it was only a couple of hours' drive to where he and my Aunt Steele lived. I'd finally get a chance to spend time with all my southern relatives and get to know them better. My final two years of college were spent at Mississippi State University in Starkville, MS. I transferred there for several reasons: My cousin, Robert, was a student there; the school excepted all my freshman credit hours, whereas Memphis State did not; and I was hoping Mary might also decide to go there too.
If she had decided to go to State, I would have been a senior, and she would have been a freshman. She had finally grown up, and I would soon have my answer about what God had been planning all along. While I still cared for Mary, I wasn't quite sure if God was still leading me to her. If it was meant to be, then everything would work out. I was sad when I learned she'd be attending another college, but God had other plans for each of us. I'll always be thankful that she was part of my life. Without her playing a significant role in God's plan, I would never have met my wife. Mary got me to Starkville, Mississippi - one stop short of my final destination.
With all of my moving around, each stop felt like landing on the next square of a board game, and I wondered what my next move would be. But this was no game! There had been no roll of the dice or spin of the wheel to move me to forward. I wished it had been that easy. I truly wanted to know where God was leading me. As I moved from place to place, it felt more like wandering. Perhaps I was akin to a ball bouncing around a spinning roulette wheel, waiting to see where I'd finally land.
During all these years, I moved all over the board and never settled in one place for too long. I was always searching for a destination I could finally call "home." It wasn't just a physical location I sought; it was also a person with whom I could share my life. Beneath the surface, you can see how God orchestrated my movements, positioning other people to guide me forward. And when I veered too far off course, God intervened directly, ensuring I ended up precisely where He intended.
In my last semester of college, I narrowed down my post-graduation living choices to Austin, TX, and Tallahassee, FL. I believed I has chosen Tallahassee. But in reality, God had already made that decision for me. He orchestrated my meeting a student intern, leaving a lasting impression of familiarity associated with "Tallahassee." The homing beacon was activated, leading me toward the place where I would eventually meet my wife. God's hand was unmistakenly at work.
When I finally met Sharon, she was twenty-three, and I was thirty-one years of age. That meant, as a young girl, she never had the chance to carve my initials on a tree like Laura Ingalls. But after all these years of waiting, she did have her own initials engraved on the inside of my gold wedding band.
Originally, I titled this post, Beyond Logic is Love. However, I decided to include faith as well. Adding faith was logical because faith stands in stark contrast to logic. And love? Well, we all know it defies logic. The full title became Beyond Logic is Faith and Love. You'd definitely need faith if you allow God to play infinite chess with your life—moving you around the board, positioning other people just right, and ensuring you're precisely where He wants you. But here's the key: If you love and trust Him with all your heart, allowing Him to use you, then He's not playing against you; He's playing for you to win. And it's not really a game—it's your life!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3: 5-6
The next post titled God Only Knows - Part 1 begins at:
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