Have you been praying, and you still have no answers?
Have you been pouring out your heart for so many years?
Have you been hoping that things would have changed by now?
Have you cried all the faith you have through so many tears?
Don't forget the things that He has done before
And remember He can do it all once more
It's like the brightest sunrise
Waiting on the other side of the darkest night
Don't ever lose hope, hold on and believe
Maybe you just haven't seen it, just haven't seen it yet
You're closer than you think you are
Only moments from the break of dawn
All His promises are just up ahead...
Lyrics from Haven't Seen It Yet - Danny Gokey
The song Haven't Seen It Yet by Danny Gokey is a compelling reminder of how the brightest sunrise awaits just on the other side of the darkest night. It's always darkest before the dawn, and things often seem to be at their worst just before they get better. I know this feeling because it happened to me on a night that couldn't have been any darker. I went to bed seriously considering suicide and woke up in tears from an emotionally powerful and extraordinarily vivid dream. Unlike anything I had ever experienced, this dream I believed was from God, revealing my future. It saved my life. I realized I had to live—not just for myself, but for the family I loved and would someday have. My darkest night became my brightest sunrise! I knew I could never lose hope; I had to hold on and believe that all His promises were just up ahead.
In the dream, I stood next to Jesus in a room, facing an enormous wall covered with individual scenes from my life. Somehow, I entered one of the scenes and relived an experience I had with my mother, but from her perspective. I understood and felt her thoughts and feelings, realizing how my own hurtful actions affected her. Although I don't remember the specific conversation, the empathy I felt changed my viewpoint profoundly, especially toward suicide. It was the ultimate, life-changing experience.
When the first scene suddenly ended, I found myself sitting beside Jesus on a garden bench outside the room I had been in. He asked me, "Why do you want to commit suicide?" Before I could respond, He also said, "What about your family?" I instinctively knew He didn't mean my parents and my two brothers; He was referring to my own family, including my future wife and children. After He spoke, we were then standing in the middle of a neighborhood street.
As Jesus stood beside me, I looked down the road and noticed on the right side a curb and sidewalk. Farther to the right were houses, but I didn't pay attention to what they looked like. I was too distracted by what appeared to be two boys in the distance, walking down the sidewalk towards us. When they started crossing the street, I noticed the taller one was holding a basketball. It was then that Jesus said, "These are your two sons." The moment He said that, I found myself standing in the dining room of what I believed was my future home.
I wasn't an observer anymore, but a participant. I actually experienced being my future self and was living the scene as if it were really happening. I was standing in front of my youngest son, who was about ten years old. I was helping him get his necktie on and knew we were getting ready to go to church. While I was looking down into his face, I was overcome with a feeling of how much I loved him. It was then that I woke up crying and knew that I couldn't commit suicide. The love I felt for a son that I someday wanted and believed I would have would forever change my life. I believed that God had given me a glimpse of my future—a future I had to live for.
It's now been thirty-seven years since the dream, and I wish I could tell you that it's all came true. It hasn't, at least not yet. Not entirely. I did find my future wife under miraculous circumstances, and I'm blessed to have a son. I was also greatly surprised with the wonderful gift of two daughters that weren't even mentioned in the dream. My wife wasn't mentioned either, but I expected her to be included. If the dream was truly from God, it has to be one hundred percent accurate—100% true. Even if it was ninety-nine percent correct, it would still fail the truth test. Thirty-seven years ago, all His promises were just up ahead. Now there is only one promise left! The only missing part, the only missing person, is my youngest son.
I'm a hundred percent sure I married the girl of my dreams and of this dream. If you've read my prior posts, The End from the Beginning and Beyond Logic is Faith and Love, then you know I did. There is also more to the miracle story of how we met, dated, got engaged, and then married. I'll go into more details in later posts.
I'm also a hundred-percent sure I'm living in my dream home. You might ask, "How could that be? You never saw your house in the dream, only the inside of the dining room. The only clue from the dream itself was the curb and sidewalk. There's no way you can be so sure! Plus, what if the dream is just that, a dream? Maybe it's nothing more than a figment of your imagination or subconscious?" Well, based only on the facts of the dream, that would be correct. I couldn't be so sure. But there is more. There are three subsequent events that, when combined together, have me one hundred percent convinced that I'm living in my "dream home." Maybe they'll convince you too.
In 1997, Sharon and I were living in another neighborhood in a three-bedroom house with our two children, Rachel and Keith. We knew we wanted another baby and for each child to have their own bedroom. This meant moving to a house with four bedrooms. We also wanted to move in order to be in a preferred school zone for when the kids started kindergarten.
While all this was being considered, my mother gave us a vacant lot she owned in her neighborhood. We then had plans drawn up to build a new home. Unfortunately, the architectural review committee had minimum restrictions on the size allowed. The house we wanted to build was too small. To make it any larger, in order to fit the restrictions, meant more money that we didn't have. We then abandoned the project and put the lot up for sale.
The vacant lot sat on the market for over a year with absolutely no inquiries or offers. I then received a call from my realtor with the surprising news that two couples were interested in buying the lot, and they both wanted it so badly they were bidding against each other. At the same time this was happening, Sharon found a four-bedroom house she wanted me to look at. We loved it! It was in a neighborhood where the kids could walk to school. In front of the house was a curb and sidewalk just like in my dream, and the dining room seemed familiar.
We put an offer in to purchase our new home, with the closing contingent on the lot selling. The lot ended up selling for $5,000 more than the list price. On March 25, 1999, my dad's birthday, we closed on the new house. Our old house sold about a month later. The timing of everything wasn't just flawless; it was as if all the matching pieces fell into place and had been perfectly planned.
A little over a year later, we added one more child, Samantha, to our growing family and filled up that fourth new bedroom. Only two years after that, in 2002, I began to seriously question the wisdom of our move. We'd sold a mortgage-free house to purchase a bigger, more expensive home. While our family expanded, so too did our debt. We had a mortgage on the new house, an ever-expanding home equity line of credit, and a year's worth of my salary in accumulated credit card debt.
Living on my single State of Florida employee pay wasn't working, and our budget was totally busted. Even if Sharon went back to work, her entire salary would barely cover the kids' daycare and after-school care expenses. The only solutions I could see were downsizing or renting. I began to question whether God had truly led us to our home, as I had initially believed. How could this be my "dream home" when it felt more like a financial nightmare?
On May 18, 2002, Sharon and I visited several open houses during the springtime Tallahassee Parade of Homes. We looked at smaller, less expensive homes. I remember praying to God, expressing regret that we hadn't stayed in our previous home. While I still believed He had orchestrated our move, I questioned His wisdom. It didn't make financial sense. We had reached a breaking point, and that evening, I went to bed convinced that selling our home was the only option. Little did I know that God had another plan, one that would unfold in a most unusual way.
In the middle of the night, I awoke from a sound sleep with the name of a book, chapter, and verse of the Bible imprinted in my mind. It was Luke 10:7. That's all I knew—just Luke 10:7. I had no idea what the verse said. I immediately got out of bed and walked to the kitchen counter where the Bible had been left. When I looked up the verse, I couldn't believe it. This is what I read: "And stay in that house, eating and drinking what they give you; for the laborer is worthy of his wages. Do not keep moving from house to house."
I had never received a clearer message from God. It was unmistakable! "Do not keep moving from house to house." While He definitely didn't want me to move, it still made no financial sense. How was I going to pay the bills? I had to trust Him to work it all out. I was now thoroughly convinced that I was right where He wanted my family to be, and that I couldn't and shouldn't move. So, we didn't move.
During the next eight months, I witnessed how God knew the solution before we even faced the problem. He foresaw that my father would develop colon cancer and undergo chemotherapy. Tragically, my dad wouldn't survive. On January 23, 2003, he passed away due to complications of his illness. However, in an unexpected turn of events, I received enough money from his estate to pay our bills and keep our house. It wasn't the solution I would have chosen, but God's wisdom extended beyond my understanding. By waking me from a sound sleep with Luke 10:7, He ensured that I waited faithfully. Now, more than ever, I was certain that I was truly living in my "dream home." My confidence in the dream and God's promise remained steadfast for another ten years. Then everything was put to the test again.
In 1986, Tom Hanks and Shelley Long starred in the movie The Money Pit. They portrayed a young couple attempting to renovate a house they had purchased, only to face a series of mishaps and mounting repair bills. As any homeowner knows, maintenance can be costly, and unexpected events—like a broken water pipe or a leaky roof—can lead to expensive repairs. But what if you inherited such a house? That's precisely what happened to me on August 16, 2007, when my mother passed away.
My mom and dad had moved to Florida the year after I did and had a custom home built about six miles from where I lived. It was an expensive home located in a gated golf course community. The month following her death, her house was listed for sale. The listing was quickly suspended for several weeks as repairs were made to the wood floors that had previously been damaged from a leaky roof. My mother had her roof re-shingled but was unaware of the damaged floors. Once the repairs were completed, the only comments from prospective buyers were that the house was outdated. It was the same feedback over and over for a year. If it was going to sell for a reasonable price, the eighteen-year-old house needed to be renovated and updated.
The second year the house was on the market, a total renovation was completed. Scroll through the pictures below for a look. This included a brand-new kitchen, all-new master bathroom, dining room cabinets, interior painting, and more. When the job was done, it felt like a new house. However, during this time, the great recession hit the housing market hard, and nothing was selling. For the next two years, all we heard from prospective buyers was that the floor plan didn't work for them. The custom-designed home may have suited my mother's tastes, but unfortunately, it didn't align with the standard family home design that most people desired.
During the first four years that the house sat on the market, there were a couple of signed contracts for sale, but each buyer backed out of the deal for various reasons. With the floor plan not working, the decision to add a sunroom to the back of the house was made. This was completed in the fourth year. By the time the fifth year came around, I was desperate to get rid of it. All the improvements had cost a small fortune, and I was also getting worn out having to babysit a house with a pool—especially when I caught the neighborhood kids repeatedly sneaking in for a swim. They even threw a patio chair into the pool and twice toilet-papered the front yard. The vacant house was a target for mischief. For five...long....years...almost every evening, I checked on the house and made sure the construction workers or realtors locked all the doors and that everything was okay. The daily, never-ending routine was slowly wearing me down!
In January of the fifth year, I told my family that if my mother's house didn't sell by my June 10th birthday, then we would sell our smaller, less expensive home and move into her house. Moving was the last thing I wanted to happen. Her house was just too big and too expensive to maintain. I then questioned God and prayed this prayer: "Lord, if I'm really living in my dream home, which I believe I am, then you've got to find a buyer for my mother's house. To allow you time to work things out, I'll wait until my birthday to make my decision and pray that you get it sold by then. I'm also going to insist on a non-refundable $20,000 deposit so that this time the buyer doesn't back out of the deal."
With the new deposit requirement, the odds for getting a deal done in time would take a miracle. That's why I put it all in God's hands to work out. And this is exactly what He did! Look at the date on the deposit check: my birthday! Then look at the final closing check, which arrived by mail on Christmas Eve. It was a wonderful Christmas present, and the timing gave me closure to a five-year-long and very stressful ordeal. The timing was unmistakably from Him. He made sure my dream was still alive, and I didn't give up believing that with God all things are possible.
I hope you're beginning to see that this wasn't just an ordinary dream for me. It turned my darkest night into my brightest sunrise. It saved my life. God saved my life! While you too may be waiting on God's promises in your life, it helps to remember the lyrics from Danny Gokey's song Haven't Seen It Yet. The powerful message in the lyrics encourages us not to lose hope but to hold on and believe. All His promises are just up ahead...
The next post titled The Power of Prayer - Part 1 begins at: