On February 21, 2018, Evangelist Billy Graham died at 99 years of age. His extraordinary life and the gospel message he so faithfully preached touched the hearts of millions of people around the world, including my own. Three days after his death, I wrote my first-ever Facebook post as a tribute to his great influence in my life and to the single most important lesson he taught me. Here is the post and then the rest of the story...
I fondly remember growing up as a young boy and watching what are now considered "classic" television shows where prayer was a natural thing to witness. When I was a young man, I went through a period of loneliness and seriously considered taking my own life. My mother sent me my childhood Bible and a pamphlet from Billy Graham titled "The Power of Prayer." I read it over and over and believed what it said. This is part of what it says:
"One more lesson that Jesus would teach us is the victorious assurance that God answers every true petition. Skeptics may question it, humanists may deny it, and intellectuals ridicule it. Yet here is Christ's own promise, 'If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you' (John 15:7). Trust that promise with all your soul... With God, nothing is impossible. No task is too arduous, no problem is too difficult, no burden is too heavy for His love."
Thanks to Billy Graham and his message, I believe in the power of prayer and the Almighty God who answers prayers. God used Billy to save my life.
Someday, when I see him in heaven, I'm going to thank him in person!
While I never had the opportunity this side of heaven to thank Billy Graham in person, I also never had the occasion to witness him preach in person either. However, my mother did. On April 25, 1982, she went to see him at his crusade in Portland, Maine. This is where she picked up "The Power Of Prayer" pamphlet that you see in the two pictures below.
Growing up in the 1960s and '70s, I vividly recall watching television series featuring characters who prayed. One of my early favorites was "Lassie," where young Timmy Martin, portrayed by actor Jon Provost. shared heartfelt moments of prayer with his loyal canine companion. Even Lassie herself would sometimes put her front paws up on the bed, joining Timmy in prayer.
However, my all-time favorite series that incorporated prayer is without a doubt "Little House on the Prairie." It's a very unusual show by today's standards because not only did each member of the family pray, but they also regularly attended church together. Another memorable character who also prayed was Opie Taylor, played by Ron Howard, on "The Andy Griffith Show." He may have only prayed a time or two during the entire series, but it left a lasting impression.
Despite witnessing these on-screen moments of prayer, it wasn't something I did in my own life during childhood. I never had a bedtime prayer routine or any prayer time at all. I also never learned how to pray or even knew that I should. When I was about ten years old, I recall one of my best friends sleeping over and kneeling by his bed to pray. While I don't remember exactly which friend it was, the praying part was memorable.
When I got older, it wasn't that I avoided prayer; it just wasn't something I even thought about. While long ago it was a natural thing to witness on television, it sure didn't seem natural for me to do in real life. I didn't think of God as someone I could actually talk to. But thanks to Billy Graham's The Power Of Prayer pamphlet that my mother gave me, things were about to change, and I'd later learn how needed and powerful prayer really is.
It wasn't more than a month or two, as I recall, before my mother attended Billy's crusade, that I was seriously considering suicide. I was living by myself and was very lonely and depressed. I couldn't see that my circumstances would someday change, and I was blind to see my life unfolding beyond my present difficulties. It was during this time when I awoke one night from a very powerful and vivid dream that I described in my August 8, 2019, post titled Like the Brightest Sunrise. The dream gave me hope by showing me what I believed was my future family. The love I had for them stopped me from making the foolish decision to end my life.
While I believed the dream was from God, I would have been just as foolish to have put all my hope in it. Believing something doesn't make it real. It was, after all, still just a dream. Or was it? There had to be more to believe in if I was to move forward. I had to trust God to make the dream come true. I had to have faith. Not blind faith, but faith based on facts.
All this made me very curious, and I wanted to investigate further what the truth was. Was the dream fiction or fact? Was it my future? The only way to discover the answer to that question was to live out my life and see for myself if the answer was true or false. A highly emotional event like I experienced could easily guide me strictly by feelings and not by facts. I desperately wanted the dream to come true, so my strong desire could make it self-fulfilling. But if God had, in fact, shown me my future to save my life, then it was time I learned more about Him.
I finally decided it was time to read my Bible. It's the one I received when I was eight years old, and as a young boy, I had only opened it to look at the pictures. Now, fourteen years later, I still hadn't read it. When moving to Florida, I left it behind. Because of that, I had to ask my mother to mail it to me. When she did, she intuitively tucked Billy Graham's "The Power Of Prayer" pamphlet inside. That single act would profoundly affect my future.
At first, I didn't know where to start reading. Should I begin with the Old or New Testament? My curiosity about Jesus, since He'd been in my dream, decided for me. I began in the New Testament with the Gospel of Matthew. I still remember reading it several times, especially the sections describing Jesus's miracles. Who wouldn't want to believe in miracles, especially if you really want or need a miracle to happen in your life? I sure did! Then there was Jesus's encouragement to pray in Matthew 7:7-8: "Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened."
Reading both Jesus's encouragement to pray and Billy Graham's advice in The Power Of Prayer gave me a double dose of prayer guidance. I knew I should be praying, but I didn't know how. I didn't know where to begin. That is, until I read the last page of Billy's pamphlet. It says: "The future with its tears and uncertainties is fully revealed to Him."
"He understands how much affliction and sorrow you need in order that your soul may be purified and preserved for eternity. Turn to Him, and you can say with Job, 'But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold'" (Job 23:10).
"No, we are not the masters of our own souls. Do not put your will above God's will. Do not insist on your way. Do not dictate to God. Do not expect an immediate answer in the way, the place and the manner that you are demanding. Rather, learn the difficult lesson of praying as the sinless Son of God Himself prayed, 'Not my will, but thine, be done.'"
"There are many of you who say prayers in times of danger, but you have never come to know Jesus Christ so that you could pray in His name."
"The Scripture says that the one mediator between God and man is Jesus Christ. You must know Him, and you must pray in His name. Your prayers must be directed according to the will of God, and the Holy Spirit will do that for you."
"Many of you do not know how to pray. Why don't you start now by saying, 'God be merciful to me, a sinner.' Let God forgive all your past sins, transform your life and make you a new person. He can do it now in answer to your prayer. That simple, direct prayer will open new horizons of spiritual victory for you and add a new dimension to your life."
When I read Billy's advice, I took it to heart and tried praying. When I first prayed, I remember not feeling so alone anymore. It was like the dark cloud of loneliness had lifted from my life. While I was still lonely, I sensed it really was the beginning of a new dimension to my life. I completely understood from experience what Billy meant when I later heard him say, "There's a lonely arena in the depths of your heart where the greatest battle of life must be fought alone. That's your decision about Christ... And your decision yes or no will decide where you'll be a hundred years from now..."
My loneliness had driven me into the arms of God and to a Heavenly Father who has always loved me. If I was going to follow my dream, I knew I'd first have to follow Christ. This decision gave me a clearer mind about the direction my life should take to open new horizons. It's like God opened my eyes for me to see. I then realized I needed to turn my life around and try something completely different. It's like the old adage, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again!" Sometimes that means changing course and trying something new. But most importantly, it means allowing God to lead while you follow.
Something new, for me, meant starting all over again. But this time I wasn't alone. I ended up quitting my job at the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind, selling my home in St. Augustine, and moving back to my parents' home in Blue Hill, Maine. Starting over also meant giving college another try, even though I'd already dropped out once before. I was finally ready to do whatever it took to follow the dream I believed God gave me, and I prayed that He would make it come true. If this meant giving God a little help, I was both ready and willing. I figured that I stood a much better chance of meeting my future wife around others my own age. Living in a retirement community and working with much older coworkers hadn't worked. I'd lived and learned from that mistake.
I also knew that if I was to succeed at college, then I had to live on campus as a full-time student. It had worked for me as a boarding school student my last three years of high school. I eventually spent all my college years living on campus in a dormitory with a roommate. That solved being alone and lonely. It also gave me the opportunity to make some new friends, including meeting and dating Donna my freshman year.
There was also a remarkable transformation in my previous inability to mentally concentrate on my studies. What had caused me to drop out of Flagler College was no longer an issue. I finally had a clear mind as the dark cloud lifted from my life, which allowed me to even make it onto the National Dean's List. Ever since having to repeat the sixth grade, I never expected that to happen. I thought I'd be crawling across the finish line to get my diploma. While I was no top scholar, I eventually graduated with a 3.13 GPA with a Bachelor of Business Administration Degree, College of Business and Industry—Banking and Finance.
Sometimes the greatest and strongest testimony to the reality of Christ's presence in someone's life is the evidence of a transformed life. My transformation began when I first made the decision not to commit suicide and chose life instead. This choice was made for three very important reasons: First, because of a dream I believed was from God that gave me hope for the future. You have to have hope, and there is no situation that is hopeless if you turn it over to God! The second and third reasons I owe specifically to Billy Graham's influence in my life. He taught me to believe in the power of prayer and, most importantly, that I needed to make a decision to follow Christ by faith.
I just recently finished watching a documentary: Billy Graham - An Extraordinary Journey. One Ordinary man. One Extraordinary God. Billy stated, "God was calling me and I knew that." Then on his knees, he prayed and completely surrendered his life to the Lord. It was a powerful prayer! When I heard his prayer, it sounded so familiar. That's because eight years after I almost committed suicide, I too was on my knees praying almost the exact same prayer. Here are the two prayers for comparison.
"Lord, I'll go where you want me to go, I'll be what you want me to be. I'm yours." - Billy Graham
"Lord, wherever you want me to go, whatever you want me to do, I'll do it! Just lead me!" - Bob Haas
In The Power of Prayer - Part 2, I'll continue the story of my life up to the point of this prayer and explain what caused me to pray it. The same night I prayed this prayer is the same night that the Holy Spirit visited me during a near-death experience and showed me the illuminated turning digital clock, the falling black cat, the rocket blasting off with power, and the curved Merry Christmas sign. I know it all sounds wild and crazy, but it will soon make perfect logical sense and it's simply amazing! Just so you know, this was not a dream! It was a fully awake, out-of-body, in-my-spirit experience. This is when God said to me, "Look and remember!" Those three powerful words forever changed the course of my life and destiny. I pray they will also speak to you.
"So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it" (Isaiah 55:11).
When I started writing this post several weeks ago on the power of prayer, I never expected to end it in such a way as this. However, I'm really glad that God wanted to finish it with a miracle of divine providence. Early this afternoon, I finished writing and printed the post for Sharon to proofread. When she entered my office, I told her I was done and that I needed her to read it. I was also looking at new emails on my iPad as we spoke. I was very surprised by what I saw. This next screenshot was taken at 2:25 p.m. and shows that the email was received at 1:07 p.m. today. It just goes to show that with God, nothing is impossible, including answering prayer!
The next post titled The Power of Prayer - Part II continues at:
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